More facts about golf

While 'Birdie' is something we want to show in our scorecards, my friend Augie was not happy with this birdie, a crow which took off with the ball at the Bangalore Golf club. He looked upset as he spoke about it much later in Bangkok. He said he had missed a birdie opportunnity. Mohan who had joined us on that day came up with a nice comment, ' You could have still called it a Birdie in your score card'! There was some fun speculation about what the rules would say if the crow had actually dropped it into the hole.

Here is a tale from my much younger pre-golfing days. Being an avid reader of P.G.Wodehouse I knew clubs had funny names like Niblick, Mashie and so on. I found out that these are not current in an embarrassing way. I was visiting with my mother the family of a very senior person in the administrative services and a nice one. He had just returned from a game of golf and thinking that I would impress him, hoped his Mashie behaved that day. He looked at me strangely and said that those were ancient names as clubs have numbers now.

They sure do, bigger numbers are shorter and are in different types like Irons, Woods, Wedges and of course the Putter.There are recent additions like Rescue or Utility clubs! As we are allowed to carry only 14 clubs, we take a combination of these. The club shafts can be of steel, graphite with many flexes. Golf club technology seems to have run riot and choices are mind boggling. The criteria for the choice of clubs are many and the subject huge. Actually it makes sense to get your first set from a garage sale as it does not really matter initially.

There are stories of Pros who were disqualified in a tournament as they had more than 14 clubs in their bags. It is strange as even 14 appears too many, could be an honest counting error. While we amateurs can manage with half a set most of us carry the full set. It is known as ‘vana Jambha’ in Kannada, the need to show off while being without real substance!

The bag with the clubs, umbrella, balls and water is heavy and it is tough carrying them around the golf course for 4 to 5 hours at my age. While in the US, I managed with a struggle or took a ride in the buggy. Luckily it is different in Asia as caddies are usually compulsory.

I heard this story from one who came as a VIP delegate from a neighboring country and played in one of Bangkok’s exclusive courses. He said that each player had four ‘lady’ caddies. One for the clubs, another for the umbrella, the third to write the score and the role of the fourth he forgot to specify. We can imagine and marvel at the crowd at the Tee and on the Green. I forgot to ask him if they had golf carts as well. The convoy would have been indeed impressive! We poor amateurs make do with one caddy . The caddies are normally women and very pleasant and I think they have a sense of humor as I hear giggles occasionally; unfortunately my Thai is not good enough to understand why.

Some facts about Golf

You will be pleased to know that I have qualified for this award even though no one has actually given it to me!







I think it is time to educate the non-golfers who I hope are still hitting my blog with some facts and figures about golf.

Dictionary definition (source to be checked!)

golf (gŏlf, gôlf) n.
A game played on a large outdoor course with a series of 9 or 18 holes spaced far apart, the object being to propel a small, hard ball with the use of various clubs into each hole with as few strokes as possible.

I came across this (thanks to Kyle Hallberg of the PurePoint Golf System) and it should gladden the hearts of most of us Amateurs.

• There are roughly 27 million golfers in the world.
• Their average gross score: 107 shots. (Normal par score is 72 shots.)
• Eighty percent of the golfers do not achieve a handicap of less than 18.(Source: Revista golf international. November 2000)

I notice that the Bench marking was done before I started golf, but I am certain my contribution would not have pushed the average any higher!

The aim is to play as few shots per round as possible. Scores for each hole is described below:

-3 Three strokes under par is called an albatross (double-eagle): an impossibility for me.

-2 Two strokes under par is known as an eagle: a miracle if it happens.

-1 One stroke under par is a Birdie: which does happen once in a blue moon.

0 Equal to par is called a par or even: I hope to make at least once in a round of golf.

+1 One stroke more than par is a bogey: will be quite happy with this.

+2 Two strokes over par is a double bogey: happens more often than I care to admit.

+3 Three strokes over par is a triple bogey: we come home totally upset if there are too many.

I have one more which is not offcially recognised: 'double' which to me is double the par score.

Origin of Bogey appears to be Sanskrit. One who reaps a due reward?

Experts speak of the front nine and the back nine scores. Apparently they have found that some of us are better in the first nine and the others do well in the back nine. I suppose it feels good to say that 'I had a better back nine' instead of ' I had a miserable day!'. At our level we even talk of 3 good holes in a row and feel excited about it. We say 'If only I had continued with the fantastic run I had in the begining, I had two bogeys and a par'. Basically we have found ways to console ourselves.

The distances are not equal for all the eighteen holes, some are shorter and you are given 3 strokes to have a par score. A few are par 5 holes and the rest are par4. It adds variety to the game and also enables us to say I do better in par 5's, I can always count on par 3's and so on.

Those of you who are looking for more 'gyan' or knowledge can check it out on 'wikipedia'

Back to Golf!

If you watch religious discourses on cable tv in Hindi, you invariably hear this word ‘bhatakna’. I think it means wandering aimlessly in search of God, truth or whatever after being misled. It aptly describes our state as we keep going back and forth between the driving range and the golf course in search of the right swing. While at the range you feel you will get it right at the golf course under real-time conditions and while at the course you console yourself that all you need to do is to tweak your swing a little at the range!

In short, you are totally confused and are not sure of the right path to a respectable game of golf. You also learn that there is more to golf than just driving long, that you lay up shots and a good short game of pitching, chipping and putting is a must. There is no doubt about your need to develop correct techniques and to master the right technique you discover that golf muscles need to be specifically strengthened.

Anyway, you are constantly reminded about your lack of fitness as you suffer many aches and pains. You make a resolve to start a regular regimen of Gym and Yoga as soon as the pains subside. But you are not totally convinced as you notice all types and shapes of people at the driving range not doing too badly. You also wonder whether the new equipment you had read about would make a difference, but deep inside you know that equipment comes last.

As you struggle, to add to your confusion you find that:

• The maximum distance you manage is about 100 yards irrespective of the club you use.
• Your game is one-dimensional; you get either the direction or the distance, never both.
• The harder you hit the lesser distance the ball goes.
• Align yourself away from a hazard the deeper you go into it.
• Practice swing is not the same as the one you hit the ball with.
  
  In your weak moments you may even start thinking that possibly the same number of hours at the feet of a spiritual guru would enhance your chances for a better after-life.
  
  Finally, in your quest you find a ray of hope as you read that all you need is to develop your muscle memory and commit your good shots to it.

Golf takes a break!

Disclaimer:

I think it is time to make a disclaimer after Kavya at Harvard faced an embarrassment of being accused of plagiarism. While I admit to thinking myself as an ‘original’ I am sure I have internalized many books, columns, jokes during my extensive web searches and specially the funny comments made by my fellow players!

I also discovered that I am not the first to think golf as a pilgrimage.

God's Handicap: Golf as Spiritual Ordeal [This essay, written by Ian Johnston, is in the public domain and may be used, in whole or in part, for any purpose, without permission and without charge, provided the source is acknowledged; released August 2005]

“It came to me in the same way divine illumination came to John Bunyan, in a dream, for, as I looked, lo, I gazed and saw that golf is the secular embodiment of the most basic living metaphor of radical Protestantism....It is, in other words, the recreational equivalent of the Pilgrim's Progress. ”

Raghu with whom I have many dialogues while visiting Bangalore surfaced with this comment:
“Also following your blog. Interesting to see the transition from the philosophical side to the technical.” Raghu.

I seem to be swinging between the two. I often wonder why we go on a pilgrimage.

While in Jordan we were close to the place where Moses was shown the Promised Land by God and saw the place where Jesus was baptized. A sight seeing trip was also a pilgrimage. I wondered about God only speaking to Moses, and of the wise men who recognized Jesus as the son of God. Also of the firm belief held by Islam that Prophet Mohamed was the final one and his way was the only way for salvation. As we all agree Religion is matter of faith and if half of humanity have accepted these beliefs, it is very clear that it is a human need. It is also very intriguing that these religions have much common and interlinking history. You can only wonder about the rest of the world population holding many more different views and adapting different practices. It seems we all want to hold an exclusive right to God and his words and actions. While it is very sad that people take a recourse to killing in the name of religion, I can only concur with many who hold that religion has been hijacked or is it that killing is inherent in human nature, spread if not equally, amongst all of us.

While we can argue about it, humans have not done badly by adapting to religion. Human race has grown significantly in numbers in the last 3000 years or so and at an alarming rate in the recent past. This is in spite of all the wars that have been waged for many reasons including religion.

Learning golf through Books!

“Hi Nidhi Uncle, Dil ki baath kehe diya aapne.
This should be made a compulsory
reading for those who want to start Golfing
and who have just started to (like me).
Let this be the Bagavathgita for Golfers
and run into ashtaadhyaya.
Expect many more Arjunas kneeling down to hear (read)
the Nidhiupanishadh. I look forward to the next adhyaaya.
Regards- Mohan Nagamanagala”

Such nice reactions from Golf Bhakta’s gives me
the incentive to continue rambling! 

As time flew, I went occasionally to the driving range to practice and played with friends whenever the opportunity arose. I can also claim to be a Global player as I managed to play in different countries! In spite of all this, I still insisted that ‘I am there for the walk’ or ‘Keeps me occupied’. I am reminded of the conversation I heard in Kannada between two newly married women. To the question ‘does you husband take a drink’ the reply was ‘yes, but he takes it for company’. The difference between drinking and taking a drink is very subtle. The fear that you may start as a social drinker and turn into an addict may not hold nowadays, but was a real fear of our parent’s generation! However, a social golfer is certainly a myth, we do get addicted in no time.

My children supported and encouraged me by gifting a set of golf clubs and especially books.There must be hundreds of books written on golf. Most of the books cover the serious physical and mechanical aspects of the game. There are also books which dwell upon the psychological aspects of playing golf. Some try to write about humor in golf, I recall a number of golf stories written by P.G. Woodhouse. Others go on the band wagon to venture into spirituality in golf. There is even a book which treats us as dummies which surely is closer to home than we would like to admit.

The first book I read was totally technical and after scanning through I decided to concentrate on all those special shots designed to get us out of trouble. Not that I expected to get into all those situations, but just in case I did. Also learnt that one duffed shots, sliced, hooked and had Yips while putting. I was shocked to discover that I was very suggestible and got into all these problems I read about and more. I gave up reading soon and the book went into circulation.

I remember that the book also suggested practice in front of a mirror. I did not have a large mirror at home and I felt awkward getting into postures in the Gym. There was also a deep rooted psychological reason as well. My generation would remember being shouted at by elders for spending too much time in front of mirrors. We were not practicing golf then, but were trying to emulate Dev Anand, Clark Gable or James Dean. But the inhibition persists and I feel both ridiculous and nervous in front of the mirror.

There was this wonderful book which Mukund found for just 20 Bahts. I have not read it in full but recall that it analyzed the role of our brain, analytical and intuitive hemispheres, and the need to switch from one to other while making the swing. I suppose it tells us how to do the switching and I am waiting to get my hands on the book again so that I could locate the switch in my brain and learn to operate it.

Books are definitely useful and necessary to learn about golf. In addition to golf fundamentals, we also learn the golf vocabulary and the use of right golfing jargon while making excuses. One common theme of all these books is that we should take lessons from a Pro! There we go again!