First things First:

After my historic game the consensus among friends was anonymous that I should go to the driving range and work on my swing with a Pro! I had already realized that I needed to work on my fitness to be able to walk at least 3 hours at a stretch without panting. As I love walking it presented no problems. Going to the driving range was another matter! There was this ego which prevented me from seeking a Pro. I reasoned that once I improved my fitness other things would follow.

Frankly it is not just about a Pro. It is a combination of your Purva Karma, namely the nature you are born with and your present Karma, the habits you accumulate by playing other games. It is complicated to overcome your karma to play good golf and tough to accomplish it in one Janma or life! It may be better to pray, if you have been pious and righteous, to be reborn in your next Janma as a golfer and start playing as soon as you learn to walk.

Anyway it is more sensible to go to the driving range and to the Pro. Being obstinate thanks to my advancing age, I looked at other options. I reasoned that humans being close relatives genetically to chimps are natural imitators. I looked around and saw a slim and reasonably tall Japanese girl had a vacant spot next to her. As I was taller than her and was slim when I was thirty I thought it was the right model to imitate and learn. She was dressed fashionably in the latest golf clothes and as all of them do, wore gloves on both her hands. Women generally are very sincere and go through all the practice routines the coaches teach them. While I could not do all of them I did try my best. I was of course being very discreet in my copying. I am sure no invigilator would have caught me! Finally, she took a languid swing and hit the ball and it soared to more than hundred yards. I followed taking an equally languid swing, but the ball went right and spluttered to about fifty yards. I am sure she did not know how I fared as she was really focused in her own practice! Anyway I stopped for a while as I did not relish looking like a chump instead of a champ. I learnt also that being a chimp is not my way and that I had to find other solutions to my swing problems.

My First Outing

“Hi nidhi uncle. I’m happy for you that you’ve found your post retirement calling. While to you golf might seem like a harmless self actualizing pursuit, to me its a high powered top management game that I shall have to learn eventually if I wanna climb the corporate ladder (maybe when I join an American company). So I am happy to see that by the time that happens I shall have a high priest of golf right here in the family to give me tips (shlokas and astras) to get me started- hahaha! Am happy to receive as many installments of rambling as you can send so keep writing- best regards. Shrikanth"

The first outing:

Anyway to continue my saga, the first time we actually play on a course is an experience we can never forget. We call it the ‘Arangetram’ here in Bangkok. Normally it is the Guru who decides that you are ready and accompanies you on the course. As I had already returned to Bangkok, my friends took the decision on his behalf. Arangetram of cultural activities means a presiding chief guest and lighting of the traditional lamp placed on either side of the stage! Thankfully our Indian tradition was ignored. Luckily so were the hollowed Ivy League traditions. “After a night at Mory's, upperclassman golfers tied five of the six freshman members of the team together, binding their hands and feet with duct tape. The group then walked around New Haven in the snow, participating in additional initiation rituals.”

I was asked to be ready for an afternoon Tee off. As you can guess I hardly slept the night before and was ready very early in the morning. I was a total novice and had no clue about what to expect. Watching a golf game on TV does not prepare you either! I thought about the clubs I would need and took them all. In actuality I had practiced with just three Irons and only held the putter! Luckily I had gloves, but no golf shoes. I decided to take three balls along as you do in Tennis. I was told about the dress code, no jeans and collared T shirt, so I suppose I was dressed for the occasion.

As kids our first test after learning to ride the bicycle was to enter Avenue Road, always teeming with bicycles, and exit at the City Market! It is a nightmarish experience which we endure and the memory still gives me goose pimples! In comparison standing on the first tee was very calm. As my friends were warming up I looked around and was very happy to see a well maintained garden with trees, ponds and a beautiful lawn.

As I am basically an instinctive player, I decided not to take any pratice swings. Soon it was my turn to tee off. The caddie offered me the driver which I politely declined and chose a 7 iron. I put the ball on the tee. It was the defining moment of my first outing! As I looked up I was shocked to see that the scene had changed, there were only trees and water in front and the well manicured lawn (the fairway!) was missing. All those steps the guru had taught me, the grip, the take away, keeping the head still and feet steady all were forgotten. My first instinct was to take a whack at the ball which was sitting there and I missed it!

I think I looked devastated but my friends seemed to expect it and took it very calmly and asked me to try again! As Amateur golfers usually mess up their first drive, they are given an extra opportunity, it is called the Mulligan. I think I needed one more chance, a Murugan(?) and also wanted his brother Vinayaka to remove all obstacles from my way!

I really do not remember rest of this first outing except my friends were very patient and had only kind comments. I do not remember the number of balls I owe my friends, as I hit many of them into the water and a few were lost in the woods. I am sure that the score card (why the caddie bothered to keep score is beyond me!) would have been a record as the highest for the club if I had carded it in!

What I do remember is that I was totally tired and would have gone home if I could after nine holes. Every muscle I had, some of them I did not even know existed, was throbbing with pain. The cold beer we had after the game was really a life saver and was necessary to dull the pain I had in my body and in my soul!